A freaking weird day in my notsonormal life
by Kiliro
Summary: Basically, the entire Flock except Total is being very weird, and Max is having a hard time dealing with it. Tons of Fax, or Mang, whichever you prefer! ONESHOT, possibly TWOSHOT soon.
1. What the HELL?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride**

**OK, here we go. Max is having a tough day. **

**This is my first try on this website, so I'm copying Seiina13's way of giving the readers a message before the story starts (sorry Twin!). **

**I wrote this during my free time between final exams, so please don't kill me if you don't like some things!  
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**It's all in one big chapter, so sorry if it bothers some people, but that's just the way it is. Also, sorry if in some places, my English isn't that good. I'm French, so it's pretty normal. My apologies!  
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**Enjoy!**

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"Angel?" I called.

The little bugger had pulled a disappearing act. Again.  
"Angel, where are you? I need to talk to you!" I tried again, deciding that if she didn't answer, I wouldn't try again. Which she didn't. Obviously.  
So I turned around, giving up, and bumped right into someone.  
"Oh, sorry!" I said, not even bothering to check who it was.  
"It's fine." said...  
Fang. I. Had. Bumped. Into. _Fang!_  
Not being able to stop myself, I looked straight into his eyes.  
Big mistake. _Very _big one.  
_Now_ I was lost in that neverending darkness.  
"Are you okay?" he asked, sounding amused.  
"Uh..." I started saying, using my wonderful ability to use sensible speech. Not.  
Then, as I was starting to make myself look away so I could remember to breathe, he took my shoulders in his strong hands and pushed me against the wall.  
Slowly, he lowered his face so that it would be level with mine.  
"Uh...Fang!" I practically squeaked. "What are you-"  
He cut me off by kissing me.

However...it wasn't one of those kisses he liked to astonish me with-not that it happens often!!!.  
_Right...keep telling yourself that.  
Shut up, Voice.  
_Anyway, to get back to the point: it wasn't a good kiss. It was a kiss that was more likely to come from an unexperienced kisser, a kid... And he wasn't either of those. So..._huh??  
_I stopped struggling, then when he stopped forcing me, I pushed him away.  
"What the _hell??"_ I practically yelled.

And _that's_ when I noticed it. He wasn't acting like himself at all. He looked as if he might be drunk, all goofy, and weird.  
Which was weird, since we didn't have _any_ alcohol around here. At all.  
He kept looking at me steadily, but I noticed a spark in his eyes that I'd never seen before. It was more like the one I always saw in...

"_Angel???" _I screeched. "What the hell do you think you're doing? This is _so_ not funny!!"  
And that's when Fang turned into my six-year-old "baby", or rather, _she _turned back into her own _self. _And started running away at the same time she started giggling like crazy.  
Good for her, 'cause she needed the head-start.  
_Oh yeah... Did I forget to mention that Angel's been practicing her shape-shifting abilities??  
_WHAT??_ You knew about this and you didn't tell me?? _I thought back to the Voice as I started running after her.  
"I'm going to _kill _you!!!" I screamed after her, but her laughter was already starting to calm me down. She always finds a way to get herself out of trouble.  
But _that's_ not what stopped me. What _did_ stop me was that I happened to-again- bump into someone.

"Sorry... places to be, _people _to kill." I said, only half-kidding.  
Without looking at whoever it was I had run into, I started walking away, only to be stopped by someone's arms.  
"Uh-uh, not killing anyone today!" said _that_ person.  
Slowly, hesitatingly, I turned around, only to find myself looking straight into _someone's_ collarbone. _That_ someone's arms were holding me tight against _him. _I was frozen. _His _hands were stroking my back, trying to make me relax.  
"Hey" he said softly. "Relax! I'm not gonna eat you!"  
_Very _softly, I started untightening my muscles, one by one, from head to toe.  
Then, Fang-hopefully the real one- backed away a little and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Why did you have to kill Angel?" he asked, genuinely curious.  
"Uh...um... Long story!" I said, trying to escape his embrace.  
"I have time3 he said simply, not letting go.  
Of course, in the usual conditions, I would have been free in second. But the again, it _wasn't _a normal situation. I was still super angry at Angel, my heart was still racing from the kiss- yes, I know, major _yuck_, but... what can I say? I _really _thought it was Fang. I mean... who could've known?- and now, I was starting to get dizzy from the lack of air (I'd, again, forgotten to breathe as soon as he'd started staring into my eyes -and apparently, my soul too!).

So, to make a long story short, I wasn't able to loosen his grip, which evidently surprised him  
"Yo, seriously, what's wrong?" he asked more urgently, now starting to get anxious.  
"No, really, it's nothing. It's just that Angel pulled a crank on me." I said as honestly as possible. I just couldn't tell him what she had really done. Too embarrassing  
"Oh... OK." he replied, relaxing after the sudden tension.

Then he let me go, and before I knew what was happening, I was falling.  
Of course, with the reflexes he has-which I _normally _have-, I'd hardly fallen a couple of centimeters when he caught me  
Now he was looking at me like I was a freak.  
"Are you OK?" he asked softly.  
"Um, yes... It's just that I... wasn't ready for you to... let me go." I replied confusedly. And then blushed furiously when I realized how that must have sounded to him, and quickly added, "Not in _that_ sense! I just meant that you were supporting my weight and I wasn't ready when you let me go!"  
He had a weird mocking smile plastered on his face that told me everything he was thinking. And I didn't like it.

"Yeah... OK. You ready now?" he asked. I could actually _hear _the mocking in his voice  
"Yes."  
When he let go, I didn't fall (thank God for _that!_).

_You should have fallen again, it would've been even _more _romantic!  
_I gasped.  
"What's wrong?" Fang asked.  
"Nothing. Just that stupid _Voice_!" I answered, putting all my anger and frustration in the word so that the Voice would shut his mouth. (I actually wonder if it _has _one??)

In my head, I said, _Shut up, Voice.  
What?__ I mean, you _know _you want to kiss him, nor surprise there! So why deny it?  
Again, I say, SHUT _UP!!

OK... the Voice won't shut up, Angel kissed me, I acted stupidly in front of Fang... What now?

"Max?"  
I froze at the sound of my name. Fang was gone, and I hadn't recognized the voice that had called me. Slowly, I turned around to find... Iggy, who was right in front of me.  
"Hey!" I said, relaxing a tiny bit. Just to freeze all over again.  
Why? Simple! Iggy was touching my shirt with both of his hands, going up and down, occasionally scraping my boobs and collarbone with his sensitive fingers.  
"What are you doing?" I asked him, trying to stay as calm as was possible in this awful situation.  
"Nothing! I just wanted to know what color your shirt was. It's a sky blue tank top, right?" he answered calmly, as if it was the most normal thing he could be doing, though he _did _sound slightly out of breath. And there was _definitely _something going down in his downstairs. _Bleaah._ FYI, this sound is me being completely disgusted: just imagine me making a face and sticking my tongue out while making that sound, and you'll understand!

_Uh oh... here's _another _one with a crush on you! _said the Voice, clearly delighted by the situation.  
_Shut up! He's not in love with me, he's just a pervert and a sexist pig. Which I will tell him right this instant. Now, if you'll excuse me-  
"Pervert! _Oh, and, yeah... _Sexist pig!_" I said, then stormed away.

This day was seriously getting worse and worse.  
"OK... ANGEL! Get your skinny butt right here, right now!" I screamed.  
Just as I was getting ready to go outside to look for her, I heard a huge explosion coming from the garden.  
"Aw _dammit_! GAZZY!" I yelled as I rushed outside.  
When I got to the source of the explosion, I saw (obviously, who else?) the Gasman, shaking bits and pieces of Flyboy off his wings.  
"Gazzy, I believe I've already told you countless times not to set off bombs on Flyboys so close to the house. I mean, I know how much you hate them, and I also know I allowed you to keep them to practice, but I'm fairly certain I mentioned the NO BOMBS rule. OK?" I finished more loudly because he looked on the verge of exploding into laughter. And possibly something else.  
"Sorry, Max." he mumbled almost unintelligibly, though his face showed the complete opposite of remorse.  
"It's fine." I said, though I sure as hell knew that my face didn't support what I was saying. I mean, now I was all twitchy, nervous, and very likely to explode like that bomb of his any moment!

Now, everybody, including the Voice, had done something _very_ weird today.  
Well…except Fang. In that case, I was the one who'd acted…not _goofy_, but…strange. Yeah, that's the word!  
No! Wait! Nudge hadn't done anything…_yet_.

"Nudge! Where are you?" I called, hoping to catch her before she did something awful too.  
"Here! Why, what's wrong?" Nudge answered.  
"Um…nothing. Just… Wait, what've you been _doing_?" I said, raising my voice when I noticed that she was _completely_ covered with metal.  
"Oh! That! I've been practicing my new ability! I mean, isn't it so cool that I'm magnetic?"  
"Yeah, yeah, I know it is, but come _on_! I mean, you're covered in metal from head to toes! It's a little too much, don't you think?" I answered.  
"Well…no, not really!" she replied, and then ran off giggling.

Oh yeah. Today was a complete disaster.

As I set off in search of Angel, I started to feel someone's eyes on me, but when I turned around, I saw nothing. However, I stayed on guard, adrenaline already pumping into my blood, my muscles tightening in anticipation of a fight.  
Seconds later, there was a noise to my right, and I turned to see… still absolutely nothing.  
I started wondering if there were ghosts around here (and seriously hoping there weren't) as I continued walking, still alert for any sound.  
And that's when someone's arms grabbed from behind. He, or she, was holding me in a way that prevented me from making any move _whatsoever_. However, when I turned my head to see who it was, I saw nothing. Or rather, everything _but_ the person who was holding me. Whoever it was was invisible.

I was about to start kicking when Mr. Invisible released his hold on me.  
As fast as possible, I turned around.  
However, my captor was still holding my waist very tightly.  
"Who are you?" I asked silently.  
When I talked, the air in front of me started shimmering, then, slowly, eyes, then the rest of a face appeared.

"_Fang_?" I breathed.  
"Hey!" he said, smiling.  
His face was inches from mine. It would only take a slight movement for his lips to touch mine.  
Oh God. _Oh_ God!

"Um… Did I miss something? Or did I just show up in a world where everyone has new and exciting powers and are using them in _extremely_ stupid and useless ways?" I asked, out of breath.  
"Well, you're in the same world, that's for sure, but you _did _miss something. I practiced my powers and found out that I can go completely invisible even when I move. And I think that if I practice more, I'll be able to make others invisible by touching them too! Isn't it awesome?"  
"Yeah!" I said forcibly.  
_As long as you don't use them for the wrong reasons, like, say, perverted ones! _I thought._  
Aw, come on! Do you really think so badly of him! interrupted the Voice.  
No, but you never know with boys! I mean, look at what happened with Iggy!  
True!_  
"OK, so now, you can be invisible. But that doesn't explain _why_ you're holding me." I told him.  
"Well, I suppose it doesn't. But _this_ does!"

And he kissed me. _Really_ kissed me. Not the kiss of a six-year-old _girl_, but a _real_ kiss. After a few seconds, he tilted his head to kiss me deeper.  
And here's the thing: there were _no_ interruptions- not by me (I usually resist), not by the Voice, not by one of the Flock, not by Total, not by evil mutants…No interruptions _whatsoever_.  
And it lasted…and lasted…and lasted.  
And you know what? I loved it!

After a moment, he started pulling away because I was still frozen by his sudden action, but instead of letting him go, I put my hands on his cheeks and kissed him back.  
I could feel the surprise in the way his body was frozen like mine had been seconds ago.  
Then, he tried again, and I let him because I was too out of breath. We were both breathing raggedly.  
He looked at me with questions in his dark eyes.  
I answered them with another deep kiss, then looked at him in the eyes and said:  
"I'm tired of running away from my feelings for you. I love you, and since I can't do anything against it, I'll help it. OK?"  
"OK, all right!" he said with a touch of his typical sarcasm, then kissed me again.

OK, so I had had a really weird day. So weird that I even wondered if the people up _there_ were determined to make me crazy.  
But anyways, who _cared_?

I loved Fang, and he was my boyfriend, and I was happy.  
Why would I want more?

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**Hope you liked it! Leave reviews please!!**


	2. Max's Revenge

**Ok, here's the promised chapter 2. Hopefully, you'll like it! Thanks to all my reviewers, but I don't have time to write them all down, sorry!**

**So, unfortunately, I'm grounded starting tonight, so if my mother doesn't change the punishment, there won't be any updates till in two weeks. I'm real sorry, guys. Blame my mother.**

**-K

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Angel watched as Fang kissed Max. Angel _also _watched as Max didn't fight back, and instead, kissed him back.

_Yes! Our plan has worked!_ Angel sent the thought to the entire team... The Flock had decided to make a plan to get the two eldest members of the Flock together.

_Meet me outside, _she told them.

She received their answers almost immediately, but not in thoughts. Gazzy had _insisted _that they use talkie walkies for this mission.

_Idiot, _Angel thought as Gazzy reprimanded her, saying that they had talkie walkies and they should use them, not thoughts, and blablabla.

Angel only heard the first few words, then turned the machine off.

She then did something reckless that her brother would absolutely hate: she threw it into the trash can.

She chuckled, then hurried to the garden, where Iggy, Nudge and Gazzy were already waiting for her.

"So? How much of a success was it? Did they kiss? Did they look like they needed to get a room? Was it hot? Was it sexy? Tell me! Please tell -"

Iggy thankfully covered Nudge's mouth with his hand. She was starting to give Angel a headache.

"Here's the story: Fang kissed Max, Max kissed him back without fighting him. Good enough for ya?" she answered Nudge's impatient gaze and _thoughts._

_Ugh, so many annoying thoughts! As much as her words, and her thoughts can't be stopped!_

Gazzy sent her a murderous gaze. She answered with a sweet and innocent smile. He gave up. He couldn't face that - well, _angelic _smile.

"I'm gonna find that talkie walkie, don't worry! I'll find it, even if I die trying!"

_Wow... Dramatic, much?_

Needless to say, 7-year old Angel was ecstatic. Especially since Nudge had started being able to speak through Iggy's hand, and he'd replaced it with his mouth. _That _shut her up.

_Thanks Ig._

_Welcome, _he thought back, and then Angel escaped because his thoughts were starting to become PG.

Nudge's too, for that matter.

Angel was starting to think that Nudge _wasn't _12 after all. She was probably 13 or something.

She followed Gazzy into the house.

She called for him, but couldn't find him anywhere.

She went back outside, expecting Nudge and Iggy to have reached the next level or something, but couldn't find them either.

The truth was, she couldn't find anyone around the house... Not even Total.

_Where **is **everyone?_

An hour later, she was on the couch, crying. She'd looked everywhere for the others.

But they were nowhere to be found.

* * *

Meanwhile, Fang had admitted to Max that the entire day had been masterminded by, none other than, Angel.

Max had, of course, thrown a fit.

The only way to calm her had been to promise her to get revenge for her.

Then, they'd kissed again for a while, and had been interrupted by Gazzy.

Quickly, they'd captured him.

Then, they'd avoided Angel when she came in and abducted Nudge and Iggy too.

They'd brought them to a cave about 10 minutes away. Far enough for Angel not to think of looking for them there.

The 3 others agreed to the plan Max had thought of.

An hour later, they came back to the house they were '_borrowing'_ for the moment, and found Angel crying.

Max cradled her, soothing her.

She then put her to bed, where Angel quickly fell asleep.

It was only hours later that she woke up.

Unfortunately, it wasn't in a good mood, _or _situation.

Truth be told, the rest of the Flock had been very inventive.

They knew she wasn't a light sleeper, and could sleep without being awakened as they carried her or flied.

So, they dressed her up as a clown, along with the make-up that was necessary, dyed her wings, and brought her to a birthday party.

She woke up to the cries of 3 year-old kids.

You would think that they would laugh, or at the very least, be scared of clowns.

But no, these kids, they were special. They absolutely _hated _clowns.

So, what did they do?

They ganged up on the clown that was ruining the party.

About an hour later, the Flock came back to find Angel tied to a tree, multi-colored cake on her face and hair, and bruises covering her arms and legs. Caused by mini-fists? No... Barbie dolls and Kens.

For a girl that hates Barbie dolls, that was torture. Which was of course what had been aimed for.

Angel saw the Flock and cried.

Max untied her and took her in her arms, but she didn't apologize.

Angel knew it was her plan. None other than Max could've done that.

"What do you say, Angel? Are we even?"

Angel freed herself of Max's arms and said,

"Certainly not. See, _I _brought you happiness. _You _are cruel. And we're not done. When I come back, you'll regret you ever did this!!"

With a maniacal laughter and grin, she flew away.

Only to fall back to the ground.

Her feathers were covered in cake and ice cream.

She got up and stomped off, angry as ever.

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**There we go! Hope you liked it! REVIEW!!**

**I'll probably do a chapter 3 'cause I really wanna know what Angel does. (I know, it's weird coming from the author, but what can I say? I don't have a definite plan for this story! ^^ It just flows, y'know?)**

**Hopefully, I'll see you BEFORE the 2 weeks are over. Hopefully.**

**Bye!**

**-K  
**


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